When I first started my house-hunting journey, I asked if you all would be interested in following along in the process. It was an overwhelming YES, which I understand, but I didn’t just want to show you all the fun parts. So, I am going to get a little real in today’s life update.

If you’re unaware, the housing market is insane right now. For everyone, but especially for first-time home buyers like myself. Every single house I toured sold within days and for $20,000+ over list price. Buyers are foregoing inspections and putting down all-cash offers. It’s very hard to compete. 

That’s why you may have noticed my home content has been sparse on Instagram lately. I’ve decided to take a break from the search process and ride out the end of my lease, which is in November.

SIMILAR SHORTS // SIMILAR TOP // BAG // SUNNIES // SANDALS

At first, we were willing to move earlier and pay the penalty to end my lease, because we are busting at the seams. As you can image, two adults, a puppy, and a whole lot of clothes and guitars do not fit easily into an 800-square-foot apartment. But as we started to get more serious about buying, the market got worse. It became so disheartening, and honestly, a little terrifying. I’m already very frugal and have anxiety about such a large purchase, so the thought of paying way more than a house is worth – even if I could afford it – was not appealing to me.

THE COMPARISON GAME

Even though we had made the decision to put the search on pause, I still checked Zillow religiously. And that started to impact my mental health. I saw all of these great — and even not-so-great — houses getting snapped up. It already felt like finding a house in our desired area in our budget was tough, but with these added factors in the mix, I started to think we were never going to be able to get a house. Then, I started seeing everyone I knew (or so it seemed) buying houses of their own. Now, I know this is just my mind playing tricks with me, but that was tough to watch. I immediately started playing the comparison game.And my attitude took a deep dive.

I’m not going to say I’m perfect with money, because I’m not, but I have excellent credit, a great job history, and I have managed to save what “they” say you need to buy a house. But that’s not $20,000 cash on top of the typical down payment and cash-to-close. Sadly, that’s what’s needed in the current market, even if you buy under your loan amount, since the bank doesn’t cover more than a house’s appraisal amount. And even though I know that’s a lot for someone my age and in my circumstances to have tucked away, I still felt like a major failure. How could everyone else afford to buy a house and I couldn’t? What was I doing wrong? These thoughts consumed me for weeks, and honestly, I’m not sure I’m in a good place with it, yet, but I wanted to share nonetheless.

DRESS // SHOES // BAG

One thing that has helped me is to disconnect from Zillow. I no longer check it three times a day. I no longer ask my realtor to show me every house in our budget, convincing myself I’d be happy there (even though deep down I knew I was settling just to get into a home). I have started seeing the good in staying in our current situation — we love this neighborhood and being in a walkable area of the city — and the perks of rental life. I’m proud of myself for doing what I needed to do to put my mental health first.

NEXT STEPS

As for an actual “update,” I don’t really have one. We’re just hoping the market takes a turn (or I win the lottery) in the next few months. In October, we will start hitting the scene hard again and maybe make some offers to see where we stand. But I’m not going to force it. If renting for another year, possibly moving to a rental house or just staying put, is what’s best for us, we will do that. When it’s right, we will have the space we want and the yard for Lincoln and all of this will be a distance memory.

I do want to remind anyone reading this that your story is so different (and everyone shows the highlights on social media so who knows what the story really is). There’s nothing wrong with what you’re doing or where you’re at in life. Don’t rush away the season of life that you’re in, take the time to enjoy it. We’ll get there when we get there.